Ruining my virgin coworkers ego

We've been working together for 6 months now, and I knew something was off about you! Janet from Accounting told me your secret. You know the night you went out with her, and well didn't perform! Now we all know, how funny, totally pathetic lame virgin loser. It all makes sense everything about you! Thought you were a little shy or a prude but I can't believe you are a virgin! You are an inexperienced virgin! I don't get it, what are you waiting for. You're not ugly, you got a good sense of humor, you make people laugh.. but really what is the problem here? Are you too addicted to perfect porn girls online? Are your expectations too high? Boggles my mind loser!