La masturbation, c'est mal, mais baiser sa belle-mère, ce n'est pas !

I caught you masturbating which is just disgusting! Masturbation is wrong! Did nobody tell you that you could go blind? If you're horny then have sex with someone. It just so happens that I am the only person home...not what I meant when I said to have sex with someone. I didn't mean me but I can't allow you to stay under this roof touching yourself. Just this one time as I really need you to understand that Masturbation really is wrong.