Calefacción moderna en cuarentena

I've been trying really hard to get the heating to work for a while now, but nothing seems to be working properly, and I'm getting really frustrated now! My boyfriend really tried his best, too, but it seems to be broken! I have a better idea, though, since we're stuck in quarantine, and it might take a while to get it fixed, how about we use a more natural way to heat up? I'm talking about my stinky farts, of course! Oh, you want to help me heat it up too? Okay, bring it on, let's see how big your farts are gonna be, big man! In fact, why don't we do a competition - who has the warmest farts wins! Not big, not long, not stinky but just real warm! You think you can have me? Oh, really now?